…it’s not enough to fix what’s wrong. You also need to focus on what’s right. – Kurt Shuster
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about happiness. I am fascinated by the research and science that gives a strong backbone to the work of transforming relationships, businesses, and individual growth. There are wide and practical applications – macro and micro shifts – I am using in my life and in my work with clients. It’s really cool stuff, and I’ve only dipped one toe into this vast pool of knowledge.
(Having just said this, I do not actually agree with the idea of striving for happiness, nor do I align with the pursuit of balance, but those are soap boxes on which to stand another day. Happiness is awesome — and it is also fleeting. For my purposes here, when I refer to “happiness,” what I intend to communicate is fulfillment, connection, resonance, engagement, presence, meaning, and/or a positive and satisfying quality of life. It’s not only unicorns and lollipops.)
One Harvard study explains that maintaining a positive focus builds “a reservoir that impacts well-being and performance, even longevity.” That reservoir is built, brick by brick, with being aware of (and grateful for) what’s going right and correlating that with where you are already strong. There is agreement in the scientific community around a 3:1 ratio of positive experiences to negative that build an individual’s, or team’s, resilience. Dr. John Gottman’s independent research on marriage and divorce reveals a similar ratio, encouraging couples to build upon their positive emotional reserves to promote relationship longevity. According to Dr. Barbara Frederickson, 80% of Americans fall short of the ideal 3-to-1 positivity ratio.
I am determined not to be one of them.
***
Flipping through the March 2011 Fast Company, I read about a class called “Designing Happiness” taught by Stanford researcher, Jennifer Aaker; in that class there was a blackboard-sized mural …
It is a patchwork of 1,300 snapshots of everyday moments: mangoes, pink Converse sneakers, cupcakes, beer pong, clean laundry, a convertible, and Halloween. With its bright yellow border, the mural is titled “This Makes Me Happy.” Aaker points to a photo of a latte, its brown and white foam swirled into the shape of a flower. The froth, she tells me, was her happy moment of that day. [...]
She also had them use a custom-built smartphone app to take at least one photo of a happy moment every day for 30 days, and then rate each moment on a scale of 1 to 10 to quantify their feelings. Soon, the class saw patterns.
They learned that the anticipation of a pleasurable experience feels as good as finishing an onerous task (like a marathon or an exam). They discovered that a meaningful experience (acquiring a new skill, volunteering, or spending time with family) often makes people happier than moments of pure pleasure. And they learned that happiness shifts with age. Younger people feel happiest when they are excited, while older people equate happiness with peacefulness.
I’m creating that mural now, too, though I guess instead of it being a vision board, it’s more of a present board.
***
My quest for zest is not about going from Eeyore to Pollyanna in 60 seconds, but there is something to that which rings true.
In launching this project, I am doing so to harvest my happy thoughts, to build my reservoir of positivity, and to allow for and invite whatever else emerges from this shift.
I will be blogging often, journaling offline, updating on Facebook, and am toying with the starting a daily zest photo pool on Flickr echoing Aacker’s happy moments mural (without the attention to quantifying the feelings for research!).
Tell me, experts of your own lives, what else could I do to capture these positive moments in my quest for zest? Feel free to comment here or on Facebook, or send me an email (karen at karenpery dot com). I’ll try just about anything for this, so long as it is easy, fun, and possibly inspiring. And thanks! I really appreciate it.
